For instance, the other day we were asked to represent BBBS at an event called the Federated Challenge. It’s a two day event put on by an awesome couple, Al and Cathy Annexstad,  who are huge advocates of one on one youth mentoring.  They bring some pretty prestigious names to this event.  The event consists of a black tie dinner and auction the first night and a golf event at Interlachen Country Club the next.  Last year, 2008, the group raised something around $2 Million with 100% of the money raised going to directly to charities.  BBBS is a huge recipient of this generosity.

When ‘little’ and I were asked to represent BBBS I was pretty excited.  I thought it would be a great opportunity for ‘little’ to experience.  It was.

The day went off great.  I went to pick him up, and after telling him numerous times to dress up for the event, he still came out in cargo shorts and a NBA T-shirt… not to belittle the NBA of course…  I sort of new that was going to happen so I had arrived about 25 minutes early.  We quick ran over to target and I got him some dressy clothes.  He wanted to look like me so he picked out black pants and a white button up shirt.  We got him a clip on tie and he was sure to let me know that he preferred the bow tie as opposed to regular.  I was really happy with that decision and I may or may not have been a little jealous.  After suiting him up real nice, he was bummed he didn’t get a sports coat like mine, we headed down to the River Center in downtown St. Paul, a pretty classy place, and headed in.  When he saw the Limo’s pulling up, and the doorman with his ridiculously tall top hat and cape like coat, he got really nervous and told me he kind of wanted to go home.  I was kind of surprised but when I gave him my big white sunglasses to wear and told him they made him look super sharp, he seemed to get the courage necessary and we made the jump inside!  When inside we went over instructions there with the 9 other matches (8 ladies and 1 other male group). The gal leading us around was very serious, we had a good laugh at her expense, which I sort of felt bad about but it really loosened him up! We were supposed to first socialize with the attendees for an hour while they browsed the silent auction items.  We got cokes at the bar and I taught ‘little’ how to wrap the napkin around his glass so his hand didn’t get cold.  Apparently that’s a trick because it took him about a half hour to get down.  He was satisfied when he did!

Courage!!

The whole time  we were walking around ‘little’ was wearing my sunglasses and he looked cute but hilarious at the same time!  People would chuckle when we would walk by but they would immediately engage the both of us.  He was pretty embarrassed but warmed up as the night went on.  He got used to the attention and I think even started to relish it a bit.  He’s quick to analyze a situation and take it for what it is.  I couldn’t help but watch him walk in and out of the crowd and have major benefactors to this great program have their attention directed toward him.  I could only dream of the possibilities if we could talk to these influential people, get connected, and open so many doors for ‘little’s’ future (relationships, scholarships, jobs… i know he’s young yet but still).  I didn’t think he would understand when I told him my thoughts, I tried, he interrupted, and let me know he wanted to go throw the football around… ha ha.  Oh ‘little’ if you could just see the benefits of being young, amicable, and outgoing now you could reap the benefits for the rest of your life!

Studly Do-Right

After the silent auction we handed out roses to all the ladies as they headed into the wonderfully decorated main dinning room, where the live auction was to take place.  We also got to eat. We had a delicious meal.  First we had a Caesar salad that came with a hunk of Parmesan cheese and our own personal shredder, and the main course of fish, and beef, with asparagus and carrots stuffed into a lemon peal, if you can imagine such a thing. It was wonderful.  ‘little’ was utterly confused by the excess of silverware.  I explained it to him and he followed my direction but it was pretty humorous.

After dinner was over all the littles walked around the tables (probably about 500-550 folks in attendace) and collect the donation sheets.  ‘little’ was assigned 8 tables to attend to.  When people held up their completed sheets he was supposed to run around and collect them.  It was so funny because people from all over the room were seeking him out and motioning for him to go and collect theirs and I think some of the other matches thought he was impeding on their territory. He was of course.  He was zipping all over the place though!! It was obvious that he had made an impression during the silent auction where people remembered him and sought him out because he set himself apart from the pack.  I was so proud of him.  He absolutely remembered his P’s and Q’s, said thank you, and your welcome and yes ma’am, no sir…

As the live auction started up we were released to a separate room for a quick debrief and then were sent on our way.  We had the option of sticking around if we so chose but he wanted to go to the park and throw the football around so bad  i just couldn’t say no.  I wasn’t bummed but I saw some great opportunities for ‘little’ slipping away.

Seriously I’m asking for thoughts here if you have them.  When do I draw the line of trying to open up opportunties for ‘little’ and treating him like the 11 year old that he is?  This may sound way to intense intense or that I’m a maniac about the situation… i’m really not, but I want him to do the best he can and give him every oppotunity I’m able.  I know I’m just a mentor… not a father, counselor, preacher etc. etc.  Am I supposed to just let the chips fall where they may, should I continue to tell him these are great opportunties and try to explain the benefits of following through, should I just throw the football with him whenever he wants and wait for him to let me know he’s ready to do such things, or is he just way to young to even be thinking about such things??  I just know he’s a great kid, with fantastic opportunities at his feet and I have no idea how to help him realize it.  I know I don’t know much, but I do know this.  I can’t make him do anything. It all has to come from within himself and he has to want to be apart of what it is that his dreams may be.  I just want to help him the best I can.

I’m not pushing him at all, and imagine this has to be a long process.  He needs to appreciate what a scholarship, a relationship, a good job opportunity actually means and the benefit it could bring.  We need to start at much more of a base level and I suppose that’s what we need to work on… any advice.

I can only imagine what my parents thought of me when I was a kid and pushed them away when they tried to help me out. ha ha REALITY CHECK!! I’ve had a lot of those lately!