I asked her if she would like to be involved with BBBS, not with my little but with the program in general.  Without hesitation or a blink of an eye she shot out a’no’.  I was kind of taken a back because I had thought that the orientation, although long, was very intriguing.  Toots being the heart felt caring woman that she is I thought this would be right up her alley.  Before I even had a chance to ask her what brought on that response she carried on with “I have a thirteen year old ‘litte’ myself that I should be spending more time with.” She was referring to her little brother that she sees maybe once or twice a month.  Wow that made a lot of sense.

This got me to thinking.  Why do I need to join up with this large not for profit organization to have them pair me with a ‘little’ that I could potentially not get along with, he could have a family that tries to take advantage of me, it could be a larger time commitment than I initially thought, etc., etc.  The biggest thing is that I don’t want to bite of more than I can chew and leave ‘little’ high and dry, which is probably worse than not doing anything at all.  Of course I wouldn’t abandon him, but am I really cut out to do this? Plus, I already have friends that have children in need of a male presence in their life.  There are so many ifs invovled here.  I needed to get down the real question.  Who am I really basing this decision off of?

I can make the time, there’s no question about that.  I can see my friends and their children whenever I want, they’re very accessible especially if I make the effort. And I really want to base my decision off of my community.  What is going to be the best decision for the whole.  The ultimate reason that I’m doing this is I want to get involved, I want to  meet other people with similar ideas, I want to know the not for profit horizon better than I currently do, and I want people to learn from my experience and hopefully encourage them to be the catalyst for change in anyway that they see themselves fitting in. All in all, I want to learn how to love better, through patience, understanding, and kindness. I think BBBS is going to be the best fit for what I’m looking for.  So I’m basing this decision off of the future little that I will be involved with and I’m basing this decision off of LOVE.  I want to jump into the volunteer world but i need to take it one step at a time, and the first one is going to be this kid.  How can I serve him the best that I can, be the best role model that I know how to be, and affect my community in the way that I know how?  We’ll figure that out along the way I guess, as long as I keep love in my sights.

Toots and I agreed that this would be the best fit.  I haven’t had my interview yet, schedualed for the 2nd of March, so it’s coming up, but I can’t really see why this wouldn’t work (how naive is that going to look in 2-3 months ha ha).  Still I don’t know what to expect but I’m getting more and more excited as the process goes on.

I think that i’ve been lead to this conclusion slowly but surely and that I’ve found the right place where I can kick my initiative off.  BBBS it is.  Here I come… well I guess I have to go through the interview first…