Two Peas in a Pod

You know where this is going.  Well maybe not.  Everytime I hang out with ‘little’ I’m always blown away by how innocent he is.  Of course I’m still not really used to being with a preteenager for an extended period of time and sometimes expect him to act as if he were one of my peers.  When we’re together though, I don’t really have to check myself, it just suprises me that some situations tend to be more tame/kid friendly naturaly.  His deameanor really leads our events to have these certain characteristics.  His jokes are elementary, his manner of speech is light and joking, not cutting or crude, and the path that his mind takes most of the time is optimistic and excited rather than reaisticly scared or pre judged.  It really is a pleasure.  I wonder if all it takes is exposure to such characteristics to pick those up, or if he’s naturally a good natured person?? hmmm…

Well this specific post doesn’t involve the two of us together.  It was actually inspired by a wonderfuly invovled big Erin Annie. She commented on a previous blog post about how when we’re, alone (without our ‘little’s) we are much less concerned about safety.  When we’re with our little’s, in the car for instance, every noise, every creak, every weird movement scares us.  We’ve become protectors and guardians, as we take these young children under our wings.  It puts life into a whole different perspecitve and makes me realize that I really can’t be totaly who I am when I’m around ‘little’. I can be myself as far as character and personality but I have to by way more responsible and understanding that I have his life in my hands.

Even further than that, when I’m not with ‘little’ I need to act a bit more grown up than I usually would.  That means so many different things (one less drink at the bar, only going 5 over the speed limit rather than 10-15, being more punctual, and being more friendly and outgoing around other people… they could potentialy be a connection that could enhance my relationship with ‘little’) I could go on.  I seriously think about him all the time.  It affects me way more than just hanging out with him and building our relationship together.  Turning in homework was a bit of problem this school year and so I’ve really stressed a good work ethic, and being responsible through our relationship. Since I ask that of him, I have to expect it from myself.  This may sound trivial but since our match I now try to go to bed at a more reasonable time so as to be fresh and at the top of my game for work the next day.  I don’t want to slack off while I’m asking someone else to work their hardest.

I have to be the change that I want to become, and ultimately what I want ‘little’ to emulate.  I certainly don’t want him to become who I am, I want him to be the best he can be, but I want to be the same things that I’m asking him to be.  So far, so good.  I’m proud of him, and the small changes that I’ve seen over the last 3-4 months. (respecting my time more, not acting out around me, not cussing, and my favorite, becoming much more patient and considerate of other people)

The funny thing is I don’t think that I would have matched ‘little’ and I together, coming into this whole thing blind, but I don’t think Big Brother Big Sisters could have done a better job.  Thanks a ton guys!  It really has been an eye opening experience.  I’m super excited to continue on.

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