The  main theme in our relationship is “Becoming men, one discovery at a time.”  Every once in a while ‘little’ and I get down to the nuts and bolts of our relationship. What does it mean to become a man? Are you a man yet? How do you get there?

It seems that ‘little’ is on a precipice right now in his life. As a fresh teenager he’s starting to understand his lot in life. He understands that he has an up hill battle, as many people do, to get what he wants in life. He has to claw and scratch for what it is he wants. Now he can look at this situation and be sullen about it and not do anything, or get up, be strong, work is hardest, become a man, and be a leader in his family and his community.  We’ve decided together that his main responsibility right now is to work is hardest in school.  Math is by far his strong suit. Science is a close second.  Reading is  a little tough for him.  It’s not so much that he doesn’t know how but it mostly comes to content where he hits a wall.  Often times when we’re driving in my car he’ll read billboards as we’re driving, pick up literature in the car and read them to me unsolicited, or read bumper stickers on the cars as we drive by.  He enjoys reading and likes to show me that he can. I challenge him a lot and never give in to words he doesn’t know.  Once he sounds it out he can usually figure out the meaning.

I stopped by Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Twin Cities today and my match support coordinator really came through for me.  She counciled me on the matter of reading and ‘little’ and that this is something he really needs to get a hold of before he reaches highschool. Whether the content is boring or not he needs to be strong in the matter.  It just so happened that a huge amount of books had been donated and she loaded me with an arm full.  I can’t wait to dive into a few of these with ‘little’ and to be honest I wish we had spent more of the summer digging in. It may be tough to find time during school but once the snow flies, it’ll be a good excuse to hunker down inside.  That’s right, those great white flakes aren’t too far away!!!

Coming back to the idea of becoming men, in order to give ‘little’ the best chance of success in the future he needs to start now. He needs to get good grades to give him the widest array of opportunities post graduation.  Hopefully he can make it to college and of course he needs the GPA to carry him there.  If he gets the GPA we’re shooing for he may be eligible for the Federated Insurance scholarship program where any match that reaches 18 months (which we have surpassed) is able to apply for a full ride to many colleges in the area (including Saint Cloud State, U of M, Saint Thomas, Saint Catherine’s, Saint John’s, Augsburg and a few others).  He just in junior high yet so we’re not going FULL force on this initiative but at least we’re planting seeds.

Here’s the pile of books.  See any good ones you think we should start with? I’m think either Hardy Boys (pretty sure I read them all) or Chronicles of Narnia. I haven’t read the later yet and I would love to read along with him!

Here goes!!

Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Twin Cities Free Books

• He’s never going to actually “hang up” a telephone.
• Trip over a telephone chord from the wall
• Probably will never play a Super Nintendo
• Take a picture from a Polaroid camera
• See a Minnesota Sports team going to the “Ship” (har har har… not funny)
• Answer a phone without knowing who’s calling ahead of time
• Hang out at an arcade for the day
• Having to time your day out to catch a television show rather than on demand
• Knowing SPAM as something you eat, not annoying marketing fluff

Spam or Spam?

• Having a pen pal, or writing letters to friends.
• He’ll  never buy Hallmark cards to send rather than e-cards with dancing elf’s.
• Taping Shows on a VHS Player
• High Speed Dubbing - Remember mix tapes? ha ha!
• Developing film and physically shuffling through a stack – even sorting them into picture books.
• Watching MTV for the music not the smutt they show now… (how old do I sound now??)
• Going to the Library to check out a book, not just for the internet
• Manually spell checking a hand written paper
• or how about spelling class? Do they do that anymore?
• Having to choose smoking or no smoking at the restaurant
• Buying a soda for $.50
• Scrounging for a quarter for the pay phone to call home
• Ever knowing what a dial up tone sounds like…

Can you think of anymore?? I don’t consider myself old by any means but so much has passed between the two of us and our age.

Funny thing is when we hang out I do realize he’s still a preteen but it doesn’t seem to affect our communication much. I talk to him as if he were one of my peers… for the most part I guess.  It’s just very interesting that we come from such different places (age, home town, friends, experiences…) but even we can find things in common!!

Hopefully we can make it to the barn this weekend…

Becoming Men!

This post by no means answers the question posed, but tries to illustrate a movement from boyhood to manhood. In our last post we covered the weekend of “turning over a new leaf” in our relationship. We were no longer going to “hang out” and get to know each other better, rather we were forming a partnership. Together we will find a project and own it. We planned to educate ourselves on a new subject, “get our hands dirty,” and find out all of the new facets of the project to get out of it as much as we can. at least that was my plan. His idea was probably to find something else fun to do and do it for a while.  Well either way you look at it, after this weekend, we’re well on our way.

As we said before, the plan was to head to the barn and take care of the horses, the building, the property, and assist the owners and barn hands in all of their chores! Neither they, nor we were shy on our first visit. We barely got out of the car and put our boots on before we found ourselves in the stalls sifting through bedding to find horse poop with shovels, brooms and scoops. I thought this chore was great because the whole way up ‘little’ was saying “I’ll do whatever except pick up poop… that’s nasty.” Well fortunately or unfortunately that’s where he found himself.  There were two girls doing the same job and if they could do it, we could do it, or so I told him.  And we did…

Scooping

He did a great job. From my assumptions, of which I’m usually right on the mark …<shaking head no> …, I don’t think his life is very full of manual labor chores (shoveling, raking, mowing, gardening, etc.) However, he was proving to himself (and me) that he could do these chores!  He even rolled the wheel barrel right over to the large mound of manure on the edge of the property and deposited it without argument. He was living in the moment and didn’t think twice.  Everyone else was participating without protest, and he followed suit.

When in Rome (at the barn)...

After cleaning the stalls it was time to be introduced to our trusty steeds.  I rode Sailer, and he, Lookit.  On first introduction we tied them to a post and brushed them down.  Our wonderful instructors told us that the horses are not sensitive at all, and the more vigorous we could be with the brush the better. Even though ‘little’ was tentative and soft, he still did great.  The horses were shedding their winter coats due to the warmer weather so we had a little work ahead of us. Next, we selected our tack and set up the horses. We were able to do everything we wanted, under the watchful eyes of our fearless leaders.

Now, the becoming a man part. Already rich in experience and work, there was more to come on this day. We were all on our horses heading to our walking path. Without warning Lookit, with ‘little’ on his back, started to get a skittish and apparently wanted to go back to the barn. He jerked, danced a little, and turned around to go back. ‘little’ was terrified because he didn’t feel like he had control of the horse. Already a bit uncomfortable on horseback, ‘little’ was willing to try to work with Lookit. As he tried to wrangle him back the original way, the horse kept tossing his head vigorously and heading the opposite direction.  Throughout this very quick ordeal you could see the look of terror on ‘little’s’ face. With nothing necessitating us going forward we followed Lookit’s lead and headed back to the barn so as to appease the horse.  I tried to read ‘little’ and how he was feeling. I was nervous that maybe I threw him in too quickly and we should have stayed at the barn rather than ride the horses the first day.  Was he too scared? Did he want to quit and go home? Would he fear horses forever and not want to experience this? All thoughts are completely legitimate after being frightened. I wouldn’t have held it against him if he had thought this at all. He was pretty quiet on the way back and I kept talking with our guide as if nothing happened. Every couple minutes I’d toss out a “hey buddy you look great over there” or “man, you really are handling Lookit it well, I’m really proud of you” to no response… per usual.

I decided to ask him if he wanted to head back the barn and call it a day. He looked at me, took a thoughtful second, and responded. “No… No, I want to keep riding.” !!!!!! Not enough exclamation points to convey my excitement! I was so proud of him! How many of us, me included, throw in the towel when we are scared, or something doesn’t seem as glamorous as it does in the movies or when someone else is doing it better? Especially when considering the youth of today, it seems whenever they, as a collective, encounter risk or adversity they back away or expect someone to come in and do it for them.  There doesn’t seem to be as much opportunity to complete something on your own as there was when I was a kid… and I’m definitely still a kid… ‘little’ was all about it though. He jumped into the situation and wanted to be the best he could!! We ran around the barn yard for another half hour and worked on handling skills and proper positioning on the horse. There was still plenty of difficulty in trying to get comfortable but it was getting better and better as the day went on.

Working on skills with our trainer in the barnyard.

As we cleaned up our horses and headed home, I still wasn’t sure what ‘little’ thought of the entire experience. However, I wanted to let him know how I thought of the experience first. I told him:”‘little’ I want you know how proud I am of you. You’re still a boy, there’s no doubt about that. But today… you really pulled a man move off. Today, so many people run away from their fears with out confrontation. Most people want to find a comfort zone, never try something new or conquer what they may not be very good at. I know you were scared today, I could tell by your face, but I also know you’re growing up to be a man. You stayed on Lookit, and you showed him who’s boss. If you take this ‘nothing can hold me back from trying new stuff attitude’, you’ll be able to accomplish anything you want. I even run away from my fears, and you taught me an important lesson today: persevere.  Thanks buddy. I’m very very proud of you!”

<silence><silence><silence><silence><silence><silence><silence><silence>

He turned to me… and shook his head in a non-verbal affirmation… oh, dear God could I ever be as stoic as this pre teen??

“So, you want to go back to barn in next week?”

“Yeah”

We’re making some major headway!!

Despite the consistency thing it’s due time we have a sit down, enjoyment day where we can enjoy each others company, and vege out. I just recently took a poll on facebook about what sort of movie series/theme we could enjoy that would be appropriate for a 12 year old, and a 26 year old going on 18 . I got some great feedback. Mighty Ducks, Harry Potter (not the hugest fan), Lord of the Rings, Great sporting events themed (Miracle, Remember the Titans, Rudy, Hoosiers), and Star Wars (LOVE IT!). I’m not even sure if we can fit more than one movie in, but we can certainly try and see how the situation dictates. I’d love to have a Star Wars marathon but the last movie we watched together was Karate Kid, a childhood favorite, and it really didn’t keep his attention. I didn’t realize how much character development that movie had in it compared to today’s movies, and lack of action until the end, again, compared to todays movies. I still liked it but I wonder if a Star Wars would keep his attention. I think it would but I’ve been wrong before.

Anyway, what I think would make the event extra special is if I got a projector and set it up in my basement we could do it theatre style. I have the perfect long room for it, and could use the projector in the future for some pretty cool events I think. Any suggestion on where to find a projector that’s decent quality, and relatively in expensive. I have no idea how much a projector costs but I’d say I’d spend somewhere in the $100 range. I’d appreciate any advice/suggestions.

Maybe something a little newer...

Let me explain…  The purpose of our relationship together is a few fold I suppose, but what we take from it is that we are good friends together hopefully trying enrich each others life.   I’m in a position where I’m friends with a 12 year old and I happen to be a little older and a little more experienced than he. I’m not a counselor, a teacher, a financial shoulder to lean on, disciplinarian or parent… i’m merely an older friend who happens to have a vested interest in how his life turns out.  I certainly could be all of those things listed, but I choose not to for the sake of our relationship/friendship, and that he already has people in his life who fills those rolls.   Also, from my experience thus far, if I specifically do not try to fill these other rolls he’s much more apt to open up to me and feel safe telling me things he may not tell others. What a position to be in eh?

I’ve discovered something else in our relationship that has shaped/is shaping our future together and is of great interest to me.  When we choose to participate in event after event (almost always getting free entrance or special VIP type experiences) he seems to have an aire about him that I don’t particularly care to see and turns me off from wanting to hang out or spend time together.  Of course I know he’s better than that, I really love him, and he doesn’t mean to put me off so I want to work with him, or at least try to explain, with our without words, that his actions and words make me feel as such. To explain what it feels like, he gets something of an entitlement feel to him as if being a ‘little’ through the BBBS organization affords him experiences that others don’t get and that he deserves these special treats. I’m not sure if that is what he feels specifically but he’s much less cordial (please, thank you, excuse me, etc.) than he normally is when we are together.  He also expects me to purchase food, or extra experiences like games, merchandise or apparel for him.  He doesn’t push it when I say no, but he know’s that I’m not his personal bank.I find that these experiences, although fun and engaging on a particular level, are not always the best option for us to take as far as our relationship is concerned.

A few things that I want to instill in ‘little’ is a sense of responsibility through small accomplishments. Through our numerous times together, it’s become obvious that when our activities involve accomplishing something (raking leaves, mowing the lawn, even changing oil on my car) he feels a drive to finish these things, learn how to do it best, and relish the experience of achievement. They no doubt are small achievements in most perspectives but not to him.  I’m not sure why he feels like this, I suppose I can make plenty of assumptions, but honestly it doesn’t really matter to me.  What does matter is that he is telling me through his actions that he likes these activities, as do I, and that we can enjoy them together. BONUS!!! They’re healthy experiences where we both can learn something and enrich each other and our relationship together.

For instance, the locking mechanism on my back door at my house has seemed to disintegrate and no longer works.  The dead bolt works fine but this task of fixing the lock has been on my to do list for sometime.  I asked ‘little’ if he’d come and help me out. He of course, feigned a ‘yeah sure’ with the least interest a 12 year old could possibly have… and came with me to get the lock, get it rekeyed to fit the current set of keys, and headed to my house.  I put the new lock and the a screw driver on the table and said let’s get at it. He dove right in and didn’t let me touch anything without letting out major protest.   I gave him a little direction but he was determined to get it done.  I’ve never changed a door lock before but it was pretty straight forward.  It just took a couple screws removed, take the knobs off, remove the bolt action, replace all pieces with the new set and screw them back in.  He may as well have just won the lottery… ha ha his smile was larger than life, his interaction with me was one of a peer, rather than a 12 year old to a 26 year old, and his interactions, responses and questions for the rest of the evening were dripping with confidence.

I couldn’t be more proud! What a great friend I have!

On our way home we quick got gas and swung into the car wash.  He was enthralled. I’m not sure if he’d never been in one before but he got so excited. It made me excited and somewhat disheartened that I have sort of lost that youthful excitement about such little things(pun intended). ‘little’ was VERY concerned that we had all of our windows up so we wouldn’t get wet! I told him it was his task to make sure we were safe from that danger.  I think he really likes it when I give him tasks so he doesn’t have to just watch and observe.  It’s obvious that he prefers having some sort of ownership in whatever our activity is.

Usually a car wash is a burden for me because I’m headed somewhere.  I really need to get my priorities straight…

When we got home he told all of his siblings what we had done and he was proud and excited to lord it over them. ha ha what a punk!

After a hard mornings work we went inside, I whooped up some Venison Hash, a real hardy mans meal, while he played games on my computer.  We decided to sit down and watch a netflix movie.  By the way, it’s really hard to pick a movie when you have to consider the fact that you’re watching it with an 11 year old (man, the things that I learn through our relationship due to being the youngest for four in my own family). Now judging from the movies that he and I have talked about before, I don’t think his filter is on too high when it comes to choosing, but still, as long as he’s watching it with me, it will be an 11 year old appropriate movie.  We looked in the action section and found Karate Kid.  He wasn’t overly excited about it until I explained the Crane to him along with demonstration and what that scene meant to all men between the ages of 22 and 30.

Crane (the move of the century)

We gorged ourselves on the venison and sat back and watched the movie.  WOW! Movies today are so different. The character development and story line are so  much more relied upon rather than constant action. I loved it… ‘little’ liked it too but I could tell that it was just barely keeping his attention.  I couldn’t believe it but when we were mid movie he actualy took a bunch of pillows and threw them between the two of us and leaned on my shoulder to rest. No kid has ever done that to me before.  There was an honest trust between us that he was able to do that. I still don’t even know what to say about it….hmmm. Really cool and heart warming.  Alright ** shift in my seat/clear throat** back to manly food eating and movie watching… It was great and he was jazzed by the marshal arts.  We both got up at the end, practiced our wax on/wax off technique, did a few cranes and I brought him home.

Now it’s question time… ‘little’ doesn’t really have to much of an idea on how money works.  I want to show him that he put in a few honest hours of work and that I appreciate it.  Now I kind of get the feeling that Big Brothers Big Sisters doesn’t want money to come into our relationship (gifts, allowance, presents, etc.) but I don’t think this really falls under that category.  I don’t want our relationship to turn into me providing him with work and him making money (boss/employee type relationship) and I don’t want him to expect me to be giving him money.  I mainly want to sugggest that if he wants something, than he has the mind and skills to go out, set his mind to what it is he’s looking for, and honestly attain it.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be money based, it could be applied to so many thing.  (money/item, school/career, etc.).  My plan is to pay him $10 for his help and actually give him $5 for himself, and set up a college account for him to put the other $5 in.  I wonder what any of you think about that.  I really fear money becoming a main stay in our relationship so I’ll try to really separate the two but I think it could be a great life lesson for him.  He doesn’t have to rely on other people to give him what he wants, he can go out and acquire it himself.  I know he’s young yet but I’m excited to get started.

Let me know what you think, or if you have any similar ideas of what it is that we could experience together along this same vein.

What is this sludge mister??

I went on a trip to Kansas City with a buddy from work the week before and I was way farther over 3000 miles than I care to admit, especially being the son and brother of mechanics.  They think (and they’re probably right) that I’m so derelict in my care for my car.  I really wanted to hang out with ‘little’ but I felt like if I went one more mile on the sludge (oil) in my car that everything would lock up and I’d be carless, which would be no good.  It’s incredible how I negelect the tools that are so important to me and my life.  I only appreciate them when I don’t have em.  Well,  I thought I’d like to take this situation and turn it into a teaaching moment.  I’d teach little about something I fail daily at, appreciating what we have and taking good care of our assets.
When I picked ‘little’ up I told him to go right back into the house and get his greasy clothes on because we were getting dirty this afternoon.  He looked at me, looked at his clothes, and said, “I don’t know what you mean.  I don’t have any other clothes that are different than these…” alright, onward and upward my friend!!
We went over to my house, and fired up the grill so we could have some hot charcoal ready and waiting when we were done being men and getting dirty.  ‘little’ got right to it.  I gave him the jack to ‘make the car fly’.  I showed him how to make sure he was on the frame and then start pumping.  He didn’t have enough weight to put into it so he had to jump on the handle to get the car to budge.  It took him a while but he certainly didn’t want any help from me.  We got some cardboard slats, slid em under the car and got to work.  I showed him the under parts of the car.  He was hooked.

"Let's Make It Fly"

It was so much fun to impart these skills to him.  It really made me appreciate my old man and what he did for me.  ‘little’ was tough and strong (as strong as a 10 year old can be) but delicate and definitive in what he was doing.  He couldn’t get the nut loosened up at first to drain the oil pan so I got it for him but he was quick to take back the wrench.  When he got oil from the drip on his hands he was so obviously in heaven.  He really was a true grease monkey.  I gave him a shop towel to use and without coxing he draped it from his back pocket like a veteran.  I couldn’t wipe the grin off of myself, to see him so serious.  I showed him the filter and he went to town trying to loosen it.  When replacing the filter I explained that in order to get the best seal it’s good policy to moisten the o-ring by dipping it in the old discarded oil.  He was eating up my direction and trying his hardest to understand what I was saying and why it made sense.  Bolt back in, filter back on, I showed him the dipstick and how to measure the oil level.  He filled her back up to the full line. He looked at me… “is that it?”  You could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t even close to being done. We checked and double checked the air filter, trany fluid, oil level, washer fluid level, tire pressure, wipers, turn signals, break lights, headlights, brights, power windows, power locks… It was amazing.  He was even intrigued by the double latch underneath the hood and we opened and closed the hood about 5 times.

Natural Grease Monkey

It’s fascinating seeing what excites him and what doesn’t.  The week before we had gone to the science museum (which I still need to write about) and it was so hard keeping his attention on one task at the exhibit hall.  He was all over the place and really just wanted to play around and he really wasn’t in learning about science related issues.  Here in this situation he was so set on learning more, doing more, and immersing himself in the internal combustion engine.  It was great to see him so fascinated.  Seeing inspiration in other people is one of my favorite past times.  That may sound weird but was more he was more intrigued than I’d ever seen him before and that includes cruising on the lake the week before in the fishing boat, ha ha.
This outing with ‘little’ was hands down my favorite.  I finally have tapped into something that he wants to know more about.  I’m not sure where this is going to go, but I’m sure we can find more similar activities together.

A True Fisherman!!

Big Brothers Big Sisters does a fantastic job both organizing and alerting bigs about upcoming events.  This one in particular event went off with out a hitch and took so many pieces to go off right.  3M, the scotch tape and post-it note people, also a major company here in Minnesota that has been around for years, has an anglers club that sponsors an exclusive event with @BBBSGTC (Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Twin Cities on twitter) where big’s and little’s together team up with an experienced fisher and have a day on the lake to learn and show off our skills, or lack there of.  Thus the adventure begins.
I usually get to hang out with ‘little’ about once a week but the week before last I was SUPER busy. I had a wedding to go to, friends that were coming into town, and work was really taking off on a few projects.   I wasn’t able to see him for almost 2 weeks.  I didn’t realize how much I missed hanging out.  I called ‘little’ four days before the event and let him know, he was surprisingly upset with me that I hadn’t called in a while .  I definitly got the feeling that he was feeling neglected, almost that I had robbed him of our time together.  I wasn’t sure if he’d want to go because we had to be at the lake by 7:00 in the morning and it was a little bit outside the cities.  That meant I’d have to pick him up by 6:10 in the AM to ensure we get there with plenty of time.   He had no problem accepting that.  I was up a little longer than I probably should have been the night before and needed a double dose of coffee that morning to get going.  When I arrived at his house 5 minutes ahead of time he was sitting on the side of the curb waiting patiently.  He didn’t seem fazed at all about the time, and acted as if it was noon.  He was super excited. It was such a pleasure to see his enthusiasm.  Honestly, I feed off of his energy so much! I guess I don’t realize that most kids his age are probably in bed by 9:30 or 10:00 or so.  Maybe he’s not really at that stage where he stays out to all hours hanging out with his friends.  I have so much to learn about youth ha ha.  I feel like I was never one.
We drove over to beautiful Stillwater, a somewhat historic city right on the Minnesota/Wisconsin boarder and then drove 20 minutes or so north on the St. Croix River.  We drove past a couple Marina’s with some REALLY nice boats.  The mist was just coming off of the road and the river, it made for an extremely scenic drive.  We arrived at the lake, Big Carnilian, and the crew was ready and waiting or us.  I’d say there were probably about 12-15 other matches there with us, and about 8-9 boats to accommodate us.  The boat we were riding in that day was a Ranger with a 225 horse  motor on the back.  It was an incredible boat with a ton of power!  I don’t know my boats that well but I bet this one was upwards of $100 grand.  It was such a smooth ride. To be honest I was a little bummed.  I don’t want ‘little’ to get spoiled with these great experiences and then be bummed if the next time he doesn’t have access to these great resources… (WHEN DID I BECOME MY PARRENTS?? ha ha) Of course I’m not complaining by ANY means.  As the sun was just cresting we took off on the lake. We really couldn’t have experienced a more pictureque launch than what we saw.  I know no one is going to believe me but directly between us and the sun a bald eagle swooped down about 400 feet away and snagged a fish and brought it to a nearby island for an apparent feast.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen the eyes of a child get so large.  I wish I would have taken a picture.  We saw everything from his launch from the tree, snagging the fish, and the massacre that happened on the small rock island right in front of us.  It was quintessential nature unfolding right before our eyes… Incredible!

The guide had never been to the lake so he wasn’t a hundred percent sure of where we were to go but he had a depth finder and plopped us right on top of a bed a of hungry sun fish. He immediatly set us up with some fishing poles and worms and leeches for bait.  It was almost as if the fish were jumping into the boat at first.  I didn’t even use my pole for the first half hour because I was to busy baiting ‘little’s’ hook and removing the fish.  He could do the worms, but it was the leeches that gave him the willies.  He was a little weary of the fish too.  He wasn’t grossed out but he was scared of getting poked and they were flopping around to much for him to get a hold… it was a funny scene! Throughout the day I was working on him/trying to trick him into working with the leeches and removing the fish.  I’d casually say, “hey man, quick hold onto this fish.  I need to fill up the live well so we can keep them and clean the fish later” or ” hey ‘little’ quick grab me a leach!! I see a big one swimming down there.”  Leaches… no chance but he was so intrigued by the idea of cleaning the fish that he almost forgot about his fear.  When the fish jumped  in his hand though, he was quickly reminded.  I finnaly got him to grab the fish but he used his shirt as a buffer zone, ha ha it was so humurous.  His shirt reeked by the end of the day but he couldn’t care less.  Between the two of us and our guide we ended up catching 50 sunny’s of which ‘little’ and I kept 22 to clean.

22 Fish... all in a days work!!

To be honest, the event definitely tested ‘little’s’ patience.  It was really interesting because that was the first time I’d ever seen him amongst the company of others and how comfortable he was at social interaction.    There were a few times where I thought he was a little forward with our guide, for example, asking him if he could drive the boat a few times, if he could operate the trolling motor, if he could pull up the anchor.  It was great to see him comfortable enough to ask questions that were on his mind but the guide didn’t really know how to respond, so he decided not to.  ’little’ didn’t understand his nervousness so kept asking and was a bit put out and when I somewhat sternly told him “no, sit down.  Whatever the captain says goes.” He was bit chagrined but got over it pretty quickly.  He was also a bit careless of where his hook was when he was casting and I needed to physicaly stop him a few times and let him know about the safety issues at hand.  He didn’t understand until he was putting a worm on his hook and stuck himself.  When I explained that could happen to others when he was casting he was much more careful. He wasn’t bad by any means, and it was a pleasure to fish with him.
At the end of the outing we gathered up our fish, and hit the road.  We went back to my house and cleaned the fish.  Cleaning sunny’s is somewhat of an easy task but he was absolutley flabbergasted to see the actual operation.  I cut the fish up so he could cut the last piece of meat off of the skin.  He was overjoyed to participate and apparently had forgotten all of his squeamishness from earlier that morning.  We cleaned the fillets, rolled them up in paper towels and got them ready to bring to his mom as a gift.  He loves to bring presents back to mom which I think is fantastic!  He has so much love for her.  On the ride back to his house he quickly konked out in the car.  The 5-6 hour excurision defintily wore him out, but I think it was a true testiment to how great it was.  He was sure to thank me before he got out of the car at his house.

Konked Out

One of the greatest parts of my day with ‘little’ is when I drop him off at home, and not for the reason that you may think. He is so innocent, questioning, and curious when he’s with me, but the first thing when his siblings come around is he puts on this tough guy fascade to let them know that, “no, 22 fish caught, removed from the hook, and cleaned in a single morning isn’t that big of a deal”, and “what?? you guys have ever been fishing with your mentor before??” knowing full well that they don’t have a mentor, nor have they been fishing before.  He such a tough guy. It’s hilarious.
Mom was happy, and suprised that we were giving here 44 filets.   The day was an absolute blast, and I couldn’t thank 3M and Big Brothers Big Sisters enough for the awesome coordination of this great event.  The guides were great, and apparently more than happy to be bringing us around.  It didn’t sound like they do this for too many other groups but that they held BBBS up as a special organization to be a part of.

Thanks guys!!