josefbig
Chronicling my experience through the Big Brother Big Sister Organization

A True Artist!!

Pumpkin carving was a special day for ‘little’ and I.  Especially for me.  I was invited to a pumpkin carving ‘date’, if you will, with some friends from college and they hoped that I would bring ‘little’.  Not only because he would have a good time, because all young kids like to carve pumpkins but also because they desperately wanted to meet him after hearing all the good times that we were having together.  I just wasn’t sure because, first of all, I love my time alone with ‘little’ where we don’t have any distractions and we can talk man to boy, and we can enjoy our time together, but then also, secondly, I was afraid to see how he would act around my friends.  What if he acted out, or was overbearing, or what if he was rude and ate all the food with out saying thank you, or what if he clammed up and wouldn’t talk to anyone… why was I being so pessimistic??  I love hanging out with him and am constantly surprised by how well he acts in public around perfect strangers.  I have no reason to think that he wouldn’t be a perfect gentleman around my great friends.  And that, he was…

Whenever we hang out I always want to push him a little bit to be cordial, which he always is, and kind, which again he always is.  I like to impart gentlemanly characteristics on him too, which I think can get a guy pretty far in life.  He seems to take well to it, and the awesome part was that my friends saw what I was doing with him and were very affirmative towards his actions which he reacted positively too.  We were in charge of passing out the pie and as I would cut it and plate it, he was passing it out.  I told him to serve all the ladies first.  He did and I think he understand why.  He’s 11 and understands the idea of chivalry.  What a guy!  He even made sure that he got the smallest piece so that no one would be left hungry.  Wonderful!!

‘little’ is surprising adept at and interested in mathematics (this is going somewhere so read on). He even likes chatting about it which, I must admit, isn’t my strong suite and tough for me to converse on, but impressive none the less.  He just learned a new multiplication method that I assumes is relatively new in the math world.  It’s called Lattice Multiplication.  It’s a new way of setting up the numbers and multiplying them in a manner that is a bit smoother than the traditional method (Actually that’s debatable, and is being debated in many parental/teacher circles that it is too cumbersome).  At any rate, ‘little’ is pretty fond of it, which I think is pretty cool, and the other week was showing me the intricacies of this new method, unsolicited of course.  He just busted it out.  He seemingly could solve these problems all day and be totally content.  What an anomaly in this day and age.  I’m sort of bummed only in the fact that I’m more of literature guy, and less of a math guy, but then I suppose there’s room and time to teach each other what we love so much about the opposing (or is it complimentary) disciplines.  But I digress.  The reason I brought up the math was, because there were friends of mine who are grade school teachers in schools around the metro and I told them, with out informing ‘little’ first, that he had something to show them.  So I busted out a pen (i think not using a pencil in the math world is a mortal sin but desperate times called for desperate measures) and paper and had him whoop up 2,894 x 314.  He was happy and proud to show them this new method.  Neither of these teachers had seen this method before so they wanted it explained to them, along with several more demonstrations, partly to humor ‘little’ and partly to actually learn it and compare it to their traditional method.  Then I suggested we do a math race and one of the nerdiest/fun things of the night happened.  For the next 20 minutes ‘little’ was leading a multiplications fest and was loving every minute of it.  My, how easily amused we all are! It was hilarious and he was enjoying himself so much.  Especially watching my group of 12 or so friends who haven’t used pen and paper to add, subtract, multiply or divide in 5+ years, polish up the old skill set.  It was a rue pleasure.  I was so elated to have ‘little’ out where there was no TV, no music/radio, no xbox or game cube, and just some old time fun and conversation.  I think it was a really great situation for him to be in.  I just wonder what his thoughts were.  I imagine he doesn’t even consider what’s going on and just goes with the flow, but if he actually stood back and compared this situation to his everyday life, would he think we were crazy or would it just be normal?? Who knows, I certainly enjoyed it.

The Lattice Multiplication Method

Well we moved on to pumpkins, which he had never carved before, and had a great time.  We baked the seeds and munched on those the rest of the night.  My friends were happy to help him out with the deseeding process, and give him advice on carving techniques.  The night all in all was a huge success!  They were so happy to meet him, he was around some really good influence, and everything flowed as well as I could have expected it too!  I love my life!

Of course as usual when he arrived home his siblings were awestruck when he walked into the house with a pumpkin with a face on it! I didn’t hear what he said to them but they were supremely surprised! ha ha, I wonder what they think of the relationship I have with their brother… I certainly enjoy it!!

Urban Cowboy

The other day ‘little’ and I drove out to Lake Maria State Park for a hike around the lake and a tutorial on how to use a compass… ha ha.  He was so good at it and it gave him such a purpose to walk.  I often find that if we really hit on the PURPOSE of what it is that we’re doing ‘little’ is much more apt to get himself involved and stay interested **Note to self**.  He really comes from the instant gratification generation, which I’m probably a part of as well, but we’re slowly working on that aspect of putting time into something and appreciating the work merely for the impending, albeit delayed sometimes, result.  On our drive out to the Monticello, MN area we passed a bunch of farms with livestock.  He was pretty excited to get out of the cities and have a different view.  When we drove by a barn full of horses I was telling him about a few experiences I had when I was young riding them.  He was sold immediately.  “Joseph, we have to go riding soon!!”

I had no idea where to begin to look for a riding place.  It turns out after polling my friends, that so many of them or their extended families had connections to horses that not only NEEDED to be ridden but would undoubtedly let us ride for free.  One of the main ideas that I always try to stress on our activities is to not just go do stuff, but learn about what we’re doing and earn it, for lack of a better term.  I don’t just want to bring him horse back riding and then head back.  I want him to know about what he’s doing. What is like to take care of a horse, how do you determine a rowdy animal from a calm one, safety procedures… but most of all, what I was excited for us to experience together was to get to know our horses, feed them, brush them down, and really appreciate what they are.  I thought that my attitude may be a little too ‘parenty’ and sucking the fun out of it for young ‘little’.  Not the case at all.  On his recommendation we brought apples and sugar cubes to give them, which apparently are two of their favorite food sources.  When we went to brush them down he was sort of disappointied that we had to saddle them up and go for a ride.  He enjoyed taking care of his horse, which was named Snap. He called him  Ahhh Snap, which I thought was pretty funny.

When we first arrived and walked into the pasture we went to feed them our apples we had brought, and one of the horses who was supposedly calm and docile, bucked his head just a little.  I think maybe he had a fly on his neck or something, but ‘little’ realized from that point that these beasts were a lot stronger than we were and they deserved our respect.  He was a bit afraid when he realized this and remained extra cautious until he was reassured buy the barn hands that he was safe. Even then, he always made sure he had an out if they ever got rowdy.  When I first fed one of them an apple about half of my honey crisp was consumed in one bite. He was scared that his hand would get bitten.  I was so excited to see this transition occur in front of my eyes as we became more involved with them though.  Through brushing Snap down to his obvious pleasure, riding him and understanding that the ‘horse’ preferred and was more comfortable being led around, and generally getting the feel for the demeanor of this beautiful animal ‘little’ became so relaxed and comfortable.  By the time we left, you would have thought the kid was born on a farm… okay, not that far, but he was getting really comfortable and was super bummed when we had to take off.

It was such a great experience.  The funnest parts for both of us were, stretching their legs out by trotting them a bit, climbing some pretty steep hills by gently coxing the timid animals up, and really getting a feel for a connection with them.  I hope that we’ll have a few opportunities to head back there next summer.