josefbig
Chronicling my experience through the Big Brother Big Sister Organization

Meeting #2:

I wanted to take ‘little’ over to my old man’s shop (he’s a mechanic) and change the oil on my car and do a little spring tune up.  We were both pretty excited to get under the hood and get some good hardy work done.  However we’re going to have to save that for a later date.  The shop was booked and the timing just didn’t work out.  ’little’ was sort of bummed so I thought, what better than the Grand Ol’ Creamery. Whenever I’m bummed ice cream always seems to be the right choice.  

We walked in and he was floored. “What, they make their own waffle cones!!” and “Are you serious?? Did you see how big that scoop was that that dude just got!” and “I have no idea what kind to get… <insert sad face>” We sampled about 10 different kinds before he settled on Oreo Cheese Cake, and I got the Peanut Butter Chocolate!  I think I’ve been getting that one ever since I was about 8 years old… hey, if aint broke, don’t fix it.  Oh, and of course we had the biggest bite contest as seen below… I won!

little

BIG

I can’t believe how cordial ‘little’ is.  Every time we go out he surprises me.  First we ran into my old high school English teacher and his family and when I introduced them to ‘little’ he shook all of their hands and said “very nice to meet you”, then he proceeded to thank everyone at the ice cream shop on the way out for the “awesome ice cream.” They all laughed and waved goodbye to him… he’s a good crowd pleaser!  When we got outside, this is my favorite part, there was a gal that was sitting on the bench with a large leg brace for her ACL and he said to me “look, she has a broke leg too.”  He went ahead and asked her what happened.  There was a gaggle of gals ( about 8 ) outside on the sidewalk that were listening to the two of them trade war stories about their injuries and they were all laughing and clucking about.  He noticed all the attention and totally played of it.  He didn’t shy away at all, he actually got more and more excited, and kept talking to the gal with the brace.  As we walked away and I said “‘little’ were you flirting with those women back there?” He had the biggest grin on his face I’ve seen yet, but he wouldn’t answer.  ummmm Yes he’s 10 years old.  It was super cute.

Afterwards we took off to the park and walked around for a bit. There was a family flying kites, another group kickin the soccer ball around and then two fellas that were playing hacky sack.  He wanted to play something so bad but he still has a walking cast on from breaking his ankle a few months ago, which surprisingly enough doesn’t slow him down very much and doesn’t seem to bother him as much as I think it would bother me.  We sat in the middle of all three groups and had a chat about nothing really and watched the activity around us in the awesome Spring weather!! It was gorgeous out!  I came to realize more that I enjoy our time together so much.

I told him that we had to head back because I had told mom that we’d be back in an hour and a half.  He looked and me with his really convincing sad eyes and asked if I could stay to play some video games and then we could “you know… hang out for a little while?”  I was so flattered that he wanted to be with me.  I don’t really want to spend time with him around his family right now though, mainly for the reason that I want to get to know him better without any outside influences.  I told him we would at a later date.  He was satisfied with that!

I think next on the docket is changing oil on my car (his suggestion from an earlier conversation about cars, not mine) and my softball game next Sunday which I’m super pumped about!

I’ll take more pictures and let you know how it goes!

DANG THIS KID IS SOOOO COOOL!!!

The day had finally come for ‘little’ and I to hang out on our own.  I surprisingly wasn’t nervous.  Our first meeting had gone very well, I felt comfortable with ‘little’ and mom, they seemed comfortable with me, and the situation felt like it had the makings of a wonderful night.

I quick drove over to ‘little’s’ house after work and was somewhat disappointed that neither he nor mom were there at the appointed time.  I talked to a fellow at the house and he was making an honest effort to get a hold of them to figure out where they were.  After about 10 minutes on their front porch ‘little’ pulled up to the house with his aunt and we took off right away.  He seemed pretty excited.  I’ve never been in charge of someone his age (being the youngest of four in my family) and I instinctually grabbed for his hand as we walked across the street.  I don’t know what brought me to do it, but that physical contact wasn’t alarming at all for ‘little’.  I didn’t even ask him.  He really has no idea who I am except for the half hour we spent a few days ago with mom and match coordinator at their house.  I think that if a stranger had grabbed my hand when I was his age I would have been a bit frusterated.

Because of BBBS rules ‘littlehas to ride in the back seat of the car so he hopped right in, threw on his seat belt without me asking and we were on our way.  He wanted to listen to the radio so I flipped in a Citizen Cope CD (the closest thing I have to rap or R&B, his favorite) and we drove on.  He was kind of diggin the music.

We didn’t stop talking the whole way to the Dome.  It’s incredible how easy going he is.  He’s a very curious boy and doesn’t hold back on any questions or comments.  I’m not sure how normal this is because I’ve never really hung out with a 10 year old kid on an extended basis before.  I have no idea but I absolutely love it.  He seems so incredibly innocent.  For example, while we were driving, ‘little’ looked at me through the rearview mirror and said “Joseph, are you mixed”’.  I was pretty sure I knew what he was asking but I asked him to explain what he meant by ‘mixed, and he replied “you know half black, half… something else??”

“Nope ‘little’, I’m all white. How about you, you mixed??”

“No, I’m black.”

While we were talking he mentioned that most his mates at school were either latino or african american and that there really weren’t that many caucasion people that influenced his life. 

We got to the stadium and had to walk about a half mile, there really isn’t much good parking around there.  little’s wearing a walking cast because he broke his ankle a month ago.  I asked him if he wanted a piggie back ride and he was delighted to take me up on my offer… turns out 80lbs get’s heavy after a quarter mile!! ‘We’ labored on.

I had brought t-shirts and markers so we found a bench outside and went to town on our designs.  We both put the TC symbol on the front, just like the players, then I added ‘Big’ and 1 to the back of mine, and he put ‘little’ and 1/2 on his. I was glad that he was so gung ho about the shirts.  He loved filling in all the letters and making sure everything was centered.  They certainly were no works of art but this really got him excited to head inside.  It was pretty hilarious.

The Artist!

A woman that was sitting near us was commenting on how great of an artist he was, he seemed proud. The woman, it turned out, had cerebral palsy.  She saw that I had my camera and offered to take  pictures of us while we were working away.  When ‘little’ saw that her hand was a little cramped up he asked, without hesitation, “what’s up with your hand?” His question was completely straightforward and curios.  He honestly saw something that set this woman apart and wanted to know what the difference was.

The woman quickly responded, obviously a bit shaken that he was so forward with his question.  She explained that she had CP, and had had it since she was a child, but that she was much higher functioning than many others.  She loosened up pretty quick and said that she was happy to explain to ‘little’ what set her apart from other people.  It was interesting to see how he disarmed her so quickly but at the same time softened her up which allowed her to speak so freely and turn a potentially awkward situation into a learning experience for us all! Simply amazing how ‘little’ surprises me around every turn… and we’re not even into the game yet!

We went into the game and found our seats, 15 rows behind home plate!! ‘Little’ seemed unimpressed, or indifferent I suppose, would be a better word there.  I wonder what he would think about sitting out on the home run porch (way out in the outfield).  We got some cotton candy, and ‘little’ cordially offered everyone around us a handful.  They all declined but gave me a quick passing smile of surprise and delight!

The game went just fine.  He wasn’t super familiar with all the rules so as the game was going on I explained them as best I could, which is harder than one would think, conveying these rules to a 10 year old. 

One thing that he did enjoy about the game was the heckling of the opposing players.  The interesting thing was though, that every time he would say anything out loud, he would look at me out of the corner of his eyes to see if I approved or not.  He certainly has respect for me as an adult, a mentor, and I couldn’t be happier about that.  There was one point where he said something that certainly wasn’t a four letter word but was a bit more crude than what was appropriate and I told him ‘no’.  He sort of hung his head and was quiet… for the next 30 seconds, and than got right back into it, appropriately of course. He’s such a good kid!  I certainly don’t want to be a disciplinarian in his life, because I don’t think that’s what he needs, and I don’t think that’s what I’m called to do, but I do have to take a stance and set my boundaries.  This way I believe our relationship will be so much stronger.  OH MY GOSH I SOUNDS LIKE MY PARENTS HA HA HA!!!

I’ve been going to twins games for dang near 15 years now, and never has a foul ball come with in 2 sections of me, nor have I gotten on the big screen.  In the8th inning a ball landed three rows behind us, and between the top and bottom of the inning ‘little’, along with my torso, got on the big screen.  If this kid ever goes back to a game, I can only imagine he’s going to find it a little lame.  ‘Little’ was pretty excited about all that but nothing beat the end of the game.

Twins Game

The Blue Jays tied it up in the 7th and no offense came of it until the end of the 11th when Joe Crede knocked in Justin Morneau for a walk off double!! It was ear piercingly ecstatic inside the dome!  Everyone went nuts and ‘little’ without really knowing what was going on, got all caught up in the hysteria of it all!  We ran over to get some autographs, and saw Justin interviewing on the field but he ducked right into the dug out before we got a chance to get to him.

I gave ‘little’ a piggy back all the way back to the car and we recapped the game the whole way.  The ride home was pretty uneventful on the way home.  He was playing with my camera and giving me play-by-plays of the video he had shot until we pulled up to his house.  At this point he could barely contain himself. When we got in the house he couldn’t decide which part of the night to tell mom and he was fumbling all over the place. He needed to go to the bathroom but was to excited, made it half way, turned back, and grabbed the cotton candy to give to his mom, than ran off.  Mom was excited to see his reaction.

Overall I couldn’t believe how the day went sooo smoothly. Super exciting, full of new fun events, great communication between the two of us as well as with others… I have so much to build upon, and so much to be excited about!!!

As far as future get together, I think we’re going to take it easy for the next few meetings. Maybe we’ll  read a book, play some video games, throw a ball around etc. etc.  I want to get to know him on more of a personal level.

I’ll keep you guys posted! Thanks for reading, I know that was a long one.  I have so much more…

Me and the Rocker!!

‘Little’ and I finaly got a chance to meet.  Turns out he’s quite the rocker as you can tell by the picture.  We actualy met up on Friday.  I went over to his house with Mom, and match coordinator.  We went over all the formalities, signed our respective contracts pledging that we will respect the program and follow all the rules that were set in place for our safety.  

Than we got to the fun stuff… I was able to chat with ‘little’ and mom for the rest of the evening.  Turns out ‘little’ loves to fish which is awesome because I recently got an odd craving to pick up fly fishing… I already have a day trip planned for Taylors Falls next month to try out my new rod and canoe!! This is going to be perfect! I didn’t think the youth of today were interested in anything without a screen.  The further I get into this adventure the more suprised I get.  I have to start expecting the unexpected I suppose.  

He also enjoyes reading and brought up the Goosebumps series and that he enjoys those… I was thinking about trying to knock out a few books together by the end of the year.

As far as future plans ‘little’ and I are planning on heading to the Twins game tomorrow (Tuesday) for our first ‘official’ outing.  I won these super sweet tickets in a lottery at work… i mean I was given them because I’m the employee of the month…anyway,  I think I’m gonna quick run to Target before hand and grab some some t-shirts and markers and make ourselves some super fan t-shirts before the game with little!!  I’ll have some pictures and video to show you tomorrow evening!!

I’ll let you know how it goes!! GO TWINS!!

I was at the Denver Airport sitting and having a leisurely lunch waiting for my plane to get set to board.  I flipped on my laptop to quick get some work out, and BOOM!! there was an email.  I had a match…  I read his bio, 10 years old, African American, oldest of 4, likes to read scary stories, enjoys basketball and football, is good at math but struggles with reading in school… etc. etc.

Mom is looking for ‘BIG’ to educate and mentor, little is just looking for some fun and wants to be spoiled!! I’m going with little on that one

Sounds perfect!! I was already thinking of things we can do.  Of course the typical head out to the park and throw the ball around and shoot some hoops.  I have a dear friend that is a librarian for all the Minneapolis libraries (which by the way are a hugely untapped resource) and they put on fantastic programs for kids… we can go grab some sodas and listen to a few book readings, jump on the Internet and play around on the computers, go on scavenger hunts!!

Now I have an excuse to go the science museum once a month… ‘hey it’s for the kid’, we all know the truth here!!

I do a bit of volunteering with some groups in Minneapolis. One of them, The Cookie Cart,  where kids can go and bake cookies after school.  It sounds simple on top but once you get a little invovled it becomes a really cool deal.  The kids work as teams to bake the cookies, experience team work, time management, taking direction, completeing tasks and seeing the good that comes of it. They then go and sell the cookies in Minneapolis.  So many great teaching opportunities come from this:

I don’t really know about that for ‘little’ but it would be awesome to go hang out with some other kids, bake cookies, throw some flour at each other, get messy… it could be a great rich experience for the both of us.

Am I going way over the top here and thinking this kid is actually going to enjoy these… I look back when i was little and think Science Museum/Library/Baking Cookies… what, am I tryingto do here domesticate this kid?? Ha Ha, I guess I’ll figure it out, no harm in thinking up some fun ideas. I suppose I’ll quickly find out if he likes them or not.

Anyone out there have regular activities that you have done with your ‘little’ or children?? What do you do with them that is actually educational but they really enjoy doing… sort of a subliminaly rich teaching moment, that is fun at the same time!!

My head is whirling right now with thoughts..

Anyway I finaly got the call from my match coordinator and she said that Mom had looked at my bio, now that I had accepted theirs, and she thought I looked great for the position, and was ready to meet.  We’ve set up a meeting for next friday which happens to be a Good Friday… how appropriate…

The next step is that we get together at ‘little’s’ house with little, mom, match coordinator, and I, go through formalities of what I am and am not supposed to be for little:

Am:                a friend that is an adult

                         a mentor

                         a bridge to new experiences 

Am Not:        a disciplarian

                          a parent

                          a replacement parent

                           a counselor

After the ground rules and initial introductions ‘little’ and I will have some alone time, maybe go grab a burger and soda, for the rest of the day. Not sure what we’ll do yet but something simple and easy.  I was actually thinking about heading to the como zoo, but that may be better to do in the summer.

I think it’s really important to set these boundaries and first.  I imagine that it will take a little while, a few visits,  to feel each other out, and I also think that I need to be firm with him to set a standard, but losen up as we both gain each others trust.  I want to be someone that he respects, but at the same time keeping the lines of commication open between the two of us.  We’ll see!

Who know’s how this is all going to go, I do know that I can’t wait to get going!!  I’ll keep you posted!!