Yesterday Toots and I went to the BBBS orientation. She was never going to be invovled in this process, we’ve only been dating a month and half, but we wanted to hang out that night anyway, and I was excited about the orientation, so I asked her to come with. She’s a great sport about the whole ordeal and very supportive. We had a really interesting chat after the orientation, which went well by the way, I’ll write about it later.
I asked her if she would like to be involved with BBBS, not with my little but with the program in general. Without hesitation or a blink of an eye she shot out a’no’. I was kind of taken a back because I had thought that the orientation, although long, was very intriguing. Toots being the heart felt caring woman that she is I thought this would be right up her alley. Before I even had a chance to ask her what brought on that response she carried on with “I have a thirteen year old ‘litte’ myself that I should be spending more time with.” She was referring to her little brother that she sees maybe once or twice a month. Wow that made a lot of sense.
This got me to thinking. Why do I need to join up with this large not for profit organization to have them pair me with a ‘little’ that I could potentially not get along with, he could have a family that tries to take advantage of me, it could be a larger time commitment than I initially thought, etc., etc. The biggest thing is that I don’t want to bite of more than I can chew and leave ‘little’ high and dry, which is probably worse than not doing anything at all. Of course I wouldn’t abandon him, but am I really cut out to do this? Plus, I already have friends that have children in need of a male presence in their life. There are so many ifs invovled here. I needed to get down the real question. Who am I really basing this decision off of?
I can make the time, there’s no question about that. I can see my friends and their children whenever I want, they’re very accessible especially if I make the effort. And I really want to base my decision off of my community. What is going to be the best decision for the whole. The ultimate reason that I’m doing this is I want to get involved, I want to meet other people with similar ideas, I want to know the not for profit horizon better than I currently do, and I want people to learn from my experience and hopefully encourage them to be the catalyst for change in anyway that they see themselves fitting in. All in all, I want to learn how to love better, through patience, understanding, and kindness. I think BBBS is going to be the best fit for what I’m looking for. So I’m basing this decision off of the future little that I will be involved with and I’m basing this decision off of LOVE. I want to jump into the volunteer world but i need to take it one step at a time, and the first one is going to be this kid. How can I serve him the best that I can, be the best role model that I know how to be, and affect my community in the way that I know how? We’ll figure that out along the way I guess, as long as I keep love in my sights.
Toots and I agreed that this would be the best fit. I haven’t had my interview yet, schedualed for the 2nd of March, so it’s coming up, but I can’t really see why this wouldn’t work (how naive is that going to look in 2-3 months ha ha). Still I don’t know what to expect but I’m getting more and more excited as the process goes on.
I think that i’ve been lead to this conclusion slowly but surely and that I’ve found the right place where I can kick my initiative off. BBBS it is. Here I come… well I guess I have to go through the interview first…
