josefbig
Chronicling my experience through the Big Brother Big Sister Organization

I love Minnesota!  Some people say that its too cold, and they can’t belive they haven’t moved south already.  I look at it as, when it’s hot outside, it’s hot and there’s nothing you can do about it.  When it’s cold you can always dress for the weather.  Plus the snow is so beautiful! There’s just something about that cold crisp air too. It feels so clean.

Ever since the temp has dropped here, I’ve wanted to share my love of the north star state with ‘little’.  I really want to go skating with him.  It’s perfect because I’m not very good at skating, I started a couple years ago, so we can learn this wonderful sport of hockey together.  He wants to go skiing, but I think that may get a little expensive to get into.  There really just isn’t anything like being able to defeat the Minnesotan negative degree weather by skating around outside.  Especially when it’s so cold outside and you’re skating so hard all you need is a sweater.  I love it and I can’t wait to bring ‘little’.

In order to get him excited about trying this new activity I brought him to the US Pond Hockey Championship over on Lake Nakomis in Minneapolis.  It was about 10-15 degrees out so not to bad.  We watched the 40+championship game.  They were pretty rowdy (probably more rowdy than any 40 year old should be) and ‘little’ really liked that.  Our adventure there elicited the exact response that I was looking for. He’s really excited to try skating. I hope he has the perseverance and interest to keep it up. I really want to share my new found love for this sport with him.

NHL Bound

We stayed at the pond hockey for about 45 minutes, but ‘little’ doesn’t own any boots and his feet were freezing. We took off a little earlier than I wanted but it ended up being great.  On our way home we passed by the airport. ‘little’ seemed pretty excited about the planes.  I remembered when I was a young lad, my old man used to stop on the frontage road so we could watch them take off.  Turns out ‘little’ digs that. There’s a state park right there that we parked at and sat on the car to watch the plane fly by.  It was a good time for me to grill him on school, family, friends… He never divulges any deep info (he’s 11) but I just want him to know that he can always come to me with stuff if he wants.

Plane Spotting

He hadn’t eaten breakfast so I brought him to his first greasy spoon diner experience. We went to Mickey’s and had the most delicious pancakes ever.  His eyes got about as big as the pancakes when he had his first bite! I mean, all they do is basically fry them in a pound of butter. SOO GOOD!!  I always try to push him to say thank you and please when we’re out.  He starting to do it on his own now, so he asked me if he could thanks tothe cook (who was making the food right in front of us) and I said sure.  Say, “Compliments to the Chef” when she comes by.  He did.  She was confused and it didn’t really go over very well.  ha ha, pretty hilarious though. Oh, it’s the little things in life that’s gets us by wouldn’t you say??

The Mickey's Diner Experience!

Yet again, another exciting, eventful outing with ‘little’. I’m just trying to remember what my life was like with out him…

I can’t believe how easy it is to integrate ‘little’ into my life. Although often times when we hang out it’s for a good majority of the day, which I prefer, sometimes we just have quick outings and they can be a blast.  For instnace, do you remember going to the car wash with your folks when you were young and being so intrigued by the process? The machines were great, the car looked great, something was being transformed before your very eyes and the result was gorgeous… okay maybe most of you don’t get that excited but I certainly do(did).  The other day I needed to get my car washed and pick something up from the grocery store.  I hadn’t seen ‘little’ for a week or so and was just driving by his house. I have a good enough relationship with both he and his family where I can just drop by.  I did, and asked if he’d like to go out for an hour or so.  We ran over to the store and got what I needed.  We both enjoyed a delicious Honey Crisp apple (the best!) and headed back.  It was a great time to catch up, see how his week was, what was up with school and drop him off again. I got a little bit of an update on his love interest too.  They haven’t actually spoken yet, but he thinks she may be smarter than he is.  The jury is still out on that one. I’ll fill you in on the details with this later. It’s still developing!

On our way home we quick got gas and swung into the car wash.  He was enthralled. I’m not sure if he’d never been in one before but he got so excited. It made me excited and somewhat disheartened that I have sort of lost that youthful excitement about such little things(pun intended). ‘little’ was VERY concerned that we had all of our windows up so we wouldn’t get wet! I told him it was his task to make sure we were safe from that danger.  I think he really likes it when I give him tasks so he doesn’t have to just watch and observe.  It’s obvious that he prefers having some sort of ownership in whatever our activity is.

Usually a car wash is a burden for me because I’m headed somewhere.  I really need to get my priorities straight…

When we got home he told all of his siblings what we had done and he was proud and excited to lord it over them. ha ha what a punk!

First of all I need to say I can’t get enough of hanging out with ‘little’. Our relationship has progressed so far and I am so proud of him.  Last Saturday he came over to my house for a hang out. I picked him up around 9:30 and we ended up together all day.  We really didn’t have hard and fast plans. Just hang out.  I told him I need to change oil on my car soon and he suggested we get it done that day. (I swear I’m not enlisting him to do my chores, it’s just the way the conversation goes sometimes) What the heck! It was cold out but we turned on the old propane heater in the garage and set to work.  This is his second time of helping me out. He got right to work as if he knew exactly what to do.  Everything went well, I gave him the necessary tools, and loosened the nut when he couldn’t. Other than that he did it all by himself.  I stupidly enough didn’t check over his work (he’s 11 years old) as close as I should have and we found out the hard way that he had screwed in the oil filter a little cock-eyed. Trust me, check it. 3.5 quarts of oil is a lot harder to clean off the garage floor than you’d think. ha ha O well, we weren’t going anywhere so it was no big deal and we had a good laugh about it.  My girlfriend called when we were almost done with the car and I asked her how close to 3,000 miles she was.  I was stunned when she knew off the top of her head. I had no idea she payed such close attention to those details.  She was within 150 miles.  I asked young ‘little’ if he was down for another car and he was.  We drove over, did the exchange, came back and zipped her car out too, sans oil spill.

After a hard mornings work we went inside, I whooped up some Venison Hash, a real hardy mans meal, while he played games on my computer.  We decided to sit down and watch a netflix movie.  By the way, it’s really hard to pick a movie when you have to consider the fact that you’re watching it with an 11 year old (man, the things that I learn through our relationship due to being the youngest for four in my own family). Now judging from the movies that he and I have talked about before, I don’t think his filter is on too high when it comes to choosing, but still, as long as he’s watching it with me, it will be an 11 year old appropriate movie.  We looked in the action section and found Karate Kid.  He wasn’t overly excited about it until I explained the Crane to him along with demonstration and what that scene meant to all men between the ages of 22 and 30.

Crane (the move of the century)

We gorged ourselves on the venison and sat back and watched the movie.  WOW! Movies today are so different. The character development and story line are so  much more relied upon rather than constant action. I loved it… ‘little’ liked it too but I could tell that it was just barely keeping his attention.  I couldn’t believe it but when we were mid movie he actualy took a bunch of pillows and threw them between the two of us and leaned on my shoulder to rest. No kid has ever done that to me before.  There was an honest trust between us that he was able to do that. I still don’t even know what to say about it….hmmm. Really cool and heart warming.  Alright ** shift in my seat/clear throat** back to manly food eating and movie watching… It was great and he was jazzed by the marshal arts.  We both got up at the end, practiced our wax on/wax off technique, did a few cranes and I brought him home.

Now it’s question time… ‘little’ doesn’t really have to much of an idea on how money works.  I want to show him that he put in a few honest hours of work and that I appreciate it.  Now I kind of get the feeling that Big Brothers Big Sisters doesn’t want money to come into our relationship (gifts, allowance, presents, etc.) but I don’t think this really falls under that category.  I don’t want our relationship to turn into me providing him with work and him making money (boss/employee type relationship) and I don’t want him to expect me to be giving him money.  I mainly want to sugggest that if he wants something, than he has the mind and skills to go out, set his mind to what it is he’s looking for, and honestly attain it.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be money based, it could be applied to so many thing.  (money/item, school/career, etc.).  My plan is to pay him $10 for his help and actually give him $5 for himself, and set up a college account for him to put the other $5 in.  I wonder what any of you think about that.  I really fear money becoming a main stay in our relationship so I’ll try to really separate the two but I think it could be a great life lesson for him.  He doesn’t have to rely on other people to give him what he wants, he can go out and acquire it himself.  I know he’s young yet but I’m excited to get started.

Let me know what you think, or if you have any similar ideas of what it is that we could experience together along this same vein.

A True Artist!!

Pumpkin carving was a special day for ‘little’ and I.  Especially for me.  I was invited to a pumpkin carving ‘date’, if you will, with some friends from college and they hoped that I would bring ‘little’.  Not only because he would have a good time, because all young kids like to carve pumpkins but also because they desperately wanted to meet him after hearing all the good times that we were having together.  I just wasn’t sure because, first of all, I love my time alone with ‘little’ where we don’t have any distractions and we can talk man to boy, and we can enjoy our time together, but then also, secondly, I was afraid to see how he would act around my friends.  What if he acted out, or was overbearing, or what if he was rude and ate all the food with out saying thank you, or what if he clammed up and wouldn’t talk to anyone… why was I being so pessimistic??  I love hanging out with him and am constantly surprised by how well he acts in public around perfect strangers.  I have no reason to think that he wouldn’t be a perfect gentleman around my great friends.  And that, he was…

Whenever we hang out I always want to push him a little bit to be cordial, which he always is, and kind, which again he always is.  I like to impart gentlemanly characteristics on him too, which I think can get a guy pretty far in life.  He seems to take well to it, and the awesome part was that my friends saw what I was doing with him and were very affirmative towards his actions which he reacted positively too.  We were in charge of passing out the pie and as I would cut it and plate it, he was passing it out.  I told him to serve all the ladies first.  He did and I think he understand why.  He’s 11 and understands the idea of chivalry.  What a guy!  He even made sure that he got the smallest piece so that no one would be left hungry.  Wonderful!!

‘little’ is surprising adept at and interested in mathematics (this is going somewhere so read on). He even likes chatting about it which, I must admit, isn’t my strong suite and tough for me to converse on, but impressive none the less.  He just learned a new multiplication method that I assumes is relatively new in the math world.  It’s called Lattice Multiplication.  It’s a new way of setting up the numbers and multiplying them in a manner that is a bit smoother than the traditional method (Actually that’s debatable, and is being debated in many parental/teacher circles that it is too cumbersome).  At any rate, ‘little’ is pretty fond of it, which I think is pretty cool, and the other week was showing me the intricacies of this new method, unsolicited of course.  He just busted it out.  He seemingly could solve these problems all day and be totally content.  What an anomaly in this day and age.  I’m sort of bummed only in the fact that I’m more of literature guy, and less of a math guy, but then I suppose there’s room and time to teach each other what we love so much about the opposing (or is it complimentary) disciplines.  But I digress.  The reason I brought up the math was, because there were friends of mine who are grade school teachers in schools around the metro and I told them, with out informing ‘little’ first, that he had something to show them.  So I busted out a pen (i think not using a pencil in the math world is a mortal sin but desperate times called for desperate measures) and paper and had him whoop up 2,894 x 314.  He was happy and proud to show them this new method.  Neither of these teachers had seen this method before so they wanted it explained to them, along with several more demonstrations, partly to humor ‘little’ and partly to actually learn it and compare it to their traditional method.  Then I suggested we do a math race and one of the nerdiest/fun things of the night happened.  For the next 20 minutes ‘little’ was leading a multiplications fest and was loving every minute of it.  My, how easily amused we all are! It was hilarious and he was enjoying himself so much.  Especially watching my group of 12 or so friends who haven’t used pen and paper to add, subtract, multiply or divide in 5+ years, polish up the old skill set.  It was a rue pleasure.  I was so elated to have ‘little’ out where there was no TV, no music/radio, no xbox or game cube, and just some old time fun and conversation.  I think it was a really great situation for him to be in.  I just wonder what his thoughts were.  I imagine he doesn’t even consider what’s going on and just goes with the flow, but if he actually stood back and compared this situation to his everyday life, would he think we were crazy or would it just be normal?? Who knows, I certainly enjoyed it.

The Lattice Multiplication Method

Well we moved on to pumpkins, which he had never carved before, and had a great time.  We baked the seeds and munched on those the rest of the night.  My friends were happy to help him out with the deseeding process, and give him advice on carving techniques.  The night all in all was a huge success!  They were so happy to meet him, he was around some really good influence, and everything flowed as well as I could have expected it too!  I love my life!

Of course as usual when he arrived home his siblings were awestruck when he walked into the house with a pumpkin with a face on it! I didn’t hear what he said to them but they were supremely surprised! ha ha, I wonder what they think of the relationship I have with their brother… I certainly enjoy it!!

Urban Cowboy

The other day ‘little’ and I drove out to Lake Maria State Park for a hike around the lake and a tutorial on how to use a compass… ha ha.  He was so good at it and it gave him such a purpose to walk.  I often find that if we really hit on the PURPOSE of what it is that we’re doing ‘little’ is much more apt to get himself involved and stay interested **Note to self**.  He really comes from the instant gratification generation, which I’m probably a part of as well, but we’re slowly working on that aspect of putting time into something and appreciating the work merely for the impending, albeit delayed sometimes, result.  On our drive out to the Monticello, MN area we passed a bunch of farms with livestock.  He was pretty excited to get out of the cities and have a different view.  When we drove by a barn full of horses I was telling him about a few experiences I had when I was young riding them.  He was sold immediately.  “Joseph, we have to go riding soon!!”

I had no idea where to begin to look for a riding place.  It turns out after polling my friends, that so many of them or their extended families had connections to horses that not only NEEDED to be ridden but would undoubtedly let us ride for free.  One of the main ideas that I always try to stress on our activities is to not just go do stuff, but learn about what we’re doing and earn it, for lack of a better term.  I don’t just want to bring him horse back riding and then head back.  I want him to know about what he’s doing. What is like to take care of a horse, how do you determine a rowdy animal from a calm one, safety procedures… but most of all, what I was excited for us to experience together was to get to know our horses, feed them, brush them down, and really appreciate what they are.  I thought that my attitude may be a little too ‘parenty’ and sucking the fun out of it for young ‘little’.  Not the case at all.  On his recommendation we brought apples and sugar cubes to give them, which apparently are two of their favorite food sources.  When we went to brush them down he was sort of disappointied that we had to saddle them up and go for a ride.  He enjoyed taking care of his horse, which was named Snap. He called him  Ahhh Snap, which I thought was pretty funny.

When we first arrived and walked into the pasture we went to feed them our apples we had brought, and one of the horses who was supposedly calm and docile, bucked his head just a little.  I think maybe he had a fly on his neck or something, but ‘little’ realized from that point that these beasts were a lot stronger than we were and they deserved our respect.  He was a bit afraid when he realized this and remained extra cautious until he was reassured buy the barn hands that he was safe. Even then, he always made sure he had an out if they ever got rowdy.  When I first fed one of them an apple about half of my honey crisp was consumed in one bite. He was scared that his hand would get bitten.  I was so excited to see this transition occur in front of my eyes as we became more involved with them though.  Through brushing Snap down to his obvious pleasure, riding him and understanding that the ‘horse’ preferred and was more comfortable being led around, and generally getting the feel for the demeanor of this beautiful animal ‘little’ became so relaxed and comfortable.  By the time we left, you would have thought the kid was born on a farm… okay, not that far, but he was getting really comfortable and was super bummed when we had to take off.

It was such a great experience.  The funnest parts for both of us were, stretching their legs out by trotting them a bit, climbing some pretty steep hills by gently coxing the timid animals up, and really getting a feel for a connection with them.  I hope that we’ll have a few opportunities to head back there next summer.

$130,000 raised for Big Brothers/Sisters and a second place finish!

‘little’ and I are fairly involved with the the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization, outside of being matched together of course.  We try to attend many group activities together and meet other matches, have a good time, and support the organization! Because of our close involvement we get a lot of ‘extra’s’ from them.  One of these particular extra’s happened to be the other day.  A wonderful group of people called the Arby’s Foundation, the charitable branch of Arby’s restaurants, puts on a wonderful charitable golfing event that supports Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Twin Cities.  This was their 19th annual event and it was held at Tartan Park golf course out in Lake Elmo, MN.  It turned out the week before the event there were a few tickets that had been allocated to the BBBS group.  It just so happened that these tickets floated down through the ranks and made it to me.  There was no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to take a Monday off of work and hit the links for a good cause!  My game certainly wasn’t in any shape to brag about it, but that certainly wasn’t  the point.  I wasn’t disappointed that I jumped all over this opportunity.  Plus what a great opportunity to get plugged into more people that are off the same mind as I am, in wanting to make a difference in our community.

Right when I arrived before I even got out of my car, there was a golf cart there to pick up my clubs for me, and bring them to the cart I’d be using.  I went down to sign up and got a dozen golf balls, a nice Adidas Golf shirt, and a complimentary breakfast with delicious coffee. I asked my old college roommate to join me so when he arrived we met up and hit the green for a putting competition.  Apparently I wasn’t warmed up yet, because I wasn’t even close to the cup!!  After the competition I ran into some of the BBBS folks that I’m pretty close with, and they told me I was in for a great surprise.  When I headed to my cart to get ready for the shot gun start  with my old buddy, in the cart next to us was Matt Blair, an ex-Minnesota Viking.  Turned out that we were slated to hit balls with Matt Blair, and Joey Browner (also an ex-Viking) all day.  Joey ended up not being able to make it so it was just a three some.  Matt couldn’t have been a more gracious fun golf partner, not to mention a super skilled player as well.  Just watching him swing the golf club elevated my own game way more than I could imagine.  As we carted out to our tee, literally through the morning mist which couldn’t have made for a more picturesque setting, the day only kept getting better.

The format for the tourament was each group took the best shot off of the tee then played our own ball for the rest of the hole.  Obviously because Matt was on our team we had a substantial safety net, and could take some pretty solid swings at the ball.  I was so happy that 3 of mine, and 3 of my buddies drives were the best out of 18 holes, and the rest were Matt’s.  I couldn’t believe it because this has never happened before, but my game was on!! Of course I had a few duffs here and there, but my fairway woods felt great, my short pitch game was accurate but most fun of all, my putting was spot on.  Oh it was so exciting.  I made at least 5 one putts that were 10 feet plus from the hole.  I was dropping em out of no where.  The coolest part of it was that I had a 6 time pro bowler, super bowl participant, football phenom overjoyed for my putts going in.  Matt was so elated whenever I dropped a long ball!  It was, as was the whole day, such a surreal experience.  Funny after thought, I think I felt like ‘little’ when I Matt was congratulating me.  Here’s is this far superior athlete, entrepreneur, philathropist giving me a a little snip it of his attention!  He made me feel like a million bucks.  It just became apparent to me that there is no one who couldn’t use a little mentoring in their lives! hmmm

The tournament was so well run also.  Every third hole there were three coolers of soda, Gatorade, juice, water and beer.  There was a longest drive, closest to the pin, and longest putt competition.  We could purchase a couple mulligans at the beginning of the round for $25 which I thought was hilarious as well as useful!! FOUR!!!  We had Arby’s delicious sandwiches and pasta salad placed in our carts before we even started.  I was super impressed. Everything came together for this special day too! The weather couldn’t have been warmer or cooler, just perfect.  There was a gentle breeze that was nothing but soothing and I had two of the best golfing partners a guy could ask for!

My phone was ringing off the hook from work, apparently something was going down.  It was just to bad that I accidently pushed the power button and had to enjoy silence for the rest of the day!! Shhhhhh…..

At the end of the round we headed into the clubhouse for the 19th hole reception where we had some dinner and and sat in for the award ceremony  I couldn’t contain my surprise when our team was awarded the overall second place prize! I really had felt like I played the game of my life but to even be in contention would have been great!  We got some hardware to take home with us, a nice picture with Matt Blair, the Arby’s folks, and Gloria the Big Brothers Big Sisters CEO.  Pretty good company if I do say so myself.  I had to continue to remind myself to keep my chin off of the floor because of my surprise for our placement.

Me and Matt Blair

Really the coolest part about the whole night was that Arby’s ended up raising $113,00 for BBBS.  That means that 1,000 matches will be funded for 1 whole year.  That means that 1,000 bigs will have the opportunity to make a difference in a kids life in their community.  That means that 1,000 kids will be much better prepaired for college, or the work force, self confident in themselves and their abilities, and hopefully will one day come back to give back to their community!  Even though, I skipped out on work on Monday, and had a pile of papers waiting for  me on my return, I felt so accomplished and fulfiled about my experience.  Life is about helping other people out when you can, and getting through this together, and if that means I have to spend more Monday’s out in nature, then heck, I’ll take one for the team!

The point of this blog isn’t to raise funds for the orgnaization, it’s to let you know about my experience, and through that know that there are people like the good folks at BBBS, that are making a difference, and setting up opportunities for guys like me to participate in helping others out.  I hope that someone reading this will get it in their head that they too can make a difference by volunteering, and have a blast doing it by the way, but I know that we are all busy in our own particular efforts and often can’t find the time for another activity.   Of course if you don’t have the time but would like to help out events like this where we raise awareness, or would like to support a match with any amount of donation, I know everyone affected would appreciate it.  Here’s the link to donate to a worthy cause!!

http://bit.ly/9Lzm5

Thanks anyone reading this, Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Greater Twin Cities, Arby’s Foundation, Matt Blair, Tartan Park managment and Staff, Cargil, 3M, and any other donors to this great cause!

‘little’ and I are pretty involved with the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization.  Of course our match was made possible by them, but we take advantage of the opportunities they offer us and have a great time doing it.  Not every match does.  Some are a bit more private, such as making up their own activities and not attending BBBS sanctioned events.  Because we’re a bit more active I think we experience a few more perks that most don’t.

For instance, the other day we were asked to represent BBBS at an event called the Federated Challenge. It’s a two day event put on by an awesome couple, Al and Cathy Annexstad,  who are huge advocates of one on one youth mentoring.  They bring some pretty prestigious names to this event.  The event consists of a black tie dinner and auction the first night and a golf event at Interlachen Country Club the next.  Last year, 2008, the group raised something around $2 Million with 100% of the money raised going to directly to charities.  BBBS is a huge recipient of this generosity.

When ‘little’ and I were asked to represent BBBS I was pretty excited.  I thought it would be a great opportunity for ‘little’ to experience.  It was.

The day went off great.  I went to pick him up, and after telling him numerous times to dress up for the event, he still came out in cargo shorts and a NBA T-shirt… not to belittle the NBA of course…  I sort of new that was going to happen so I had arrived about 25 minutes early.  We quick ran over to target and I got him some dressy clothes.  He wanted to look like me so he picked out black pants and a white button up shirt.  We got him a clip on tie and he was sure to let me know that he preferred the bow tie as opposed to regular.  I was really happy with that decision and I may or may not have been a little jealous.  After suiting him up real nice, he was bummed he didn’t get a sports coat like mine, we headed down to the River Center in downtown St. Paul, a pretty classy place, and headed in.  When he saw the Limo’s pulling up, and the doorman with his ridiculously tall top hat and cape like coat, he got really nervous and told me he kind of wanted to go home.  I was kind of surprised but when I gave him my big white sunglasses to wear and told him they made him look super sharp, he seemed to get the courage necessary and we made the jump inside!  When inside we went over instructions there with the 9 other matches (8 ladies and 1 other male group). The gal leading us around was very serious, we had a good laugh at her expense, which I sort of felt bad about but it really loosened him up! We were supposed to first socialize with the attendees for an hour while they browsed the silent auction items.  We got cokes at the bar and I taught ‘little’ how to wrap the napkin around his glass so his hand didn’t get cold.  Apparently that’s a trick because it took him about a half hour to get down.  He was satisfied when he did!

Courage!!

The whole time  we were walking around ‘little’ was wearing my sunglasses and he looked cute but hilarious at the same time!  People would chuckle when we would walk by but they would immediately engage the both of us.  He was pretty embarrassed but warmed up as the night went on.  He got used to the attention and I think even started to relish it a bit.  He’s quick to analyze a situation and take it for what it is.  I couldn’t help but watch him walk in and out of the crowd and have major benefactors to this great program have their attention directed toward him.  I could only dream of the possibilities if we could talk to these influential people, get connected, and open so many doors for ‘little’s’ future (relationships, scholarships, jobs… i know he’s young yet but still).  I didn’t think he would understand when I told him my thoughts, I tried, he interrupted, and let me know he wanted to go throw the football around… ha ha.  Oh ‘little’ if you could just see the benefits of being young, amicable, and outgoing now you could reap the benefits for the rest of your life!

Studly Do-Right

After the silent auction we handed out roses to all the ladies as they headed into the wonderfully decorated main dinning room, where the live auction was to take place.  We also got to eat. We had a delicious meal.  First we had a Caesar salad that came with a hunk of Parmesan cheese and our own personal shredder, and the main course of fish, and beef, with asparagus and carrots stuffed into a lemon peal, if you can imagine such a thing. It was wonderful.  ‘little’ was utterly confused by the excess of silverware.  I explained it to him and he followed my direction but it was pretty humorous.

After dinner was over all the littles walked around the tables (probably about 500-550 folks in attendace) and collect the donation sheets.  ‘little’ was assigned 8 tables to attend to.  When people held up their completed sheets he was supposed to run around and collect them.  It was so funny because people from all over the room were seeking him out and motioning for him to go and collect theirs and I think some of the other matches thought he was impeding on their territory. He was of course.  He was zipping all over the place though!! It was obvious that he had made an impression during the silent auction where people remembered him and sought him out because he set himself apart from the pack.  I was so proud of him.  He absolutely remembered his P’s and Q’s, said thank you, and your welcome and yes ma’am, no sir…

As the live auction started up we were released to a separate room for a quick debrief and then were sent on our way.  We had the option of sticking around if we so chose but he wanted to go to the park and throw the football around so bad  i just couldn’t say no.  I wasn’t bummed but I saw some great opportunities for ‘little’ slipping away.

Seriously I’m asking for thoughts here if you have them.  When do I draw the line of trying to open up opportunties for ‘little’ and treating him like the 11 year old that he is?  This may sound way to intense intense or that I’m a maniac about the situation… i’m really not, but I want him to do the best he can and give him every oppotunity I’m able.  I know I’m just a mentor… not a father, counselor, preacher etc. etc.  Am I supposed to just let the chips fall where they may, should I continue to tell him these are great opportunties and try to explain the benefits of following through, should I just throw the football with him whenever he wants and wait for him to let me know he’s ready to do such things, or is he just way to young to even be thinking about such things??  I just know he’s a great kid, with fantastic opportunities at his feet and I have no idea how to help him realize it.  I know I don’t know much, but I do know this.  I can’t make him do anything. It all has to come from within himself and he has to want to be apart of what it is that his dreams may be.  I just want to help him the best I can.

I’m not pushing him at all, and imagine this has to be a long process.  He needs to appreciate what a scholarship, a relationship, a good job opportunity actually means and the benefit it could bring.  We need to start at much more of a base level and I suppose that’s what we need to work on… any advice.

I can only imagine what my parents thought of me when I was a kid and pushed them away when they tried to help me out. ha ha REALITY CHECK!! I’ve had a lot of those lately!

You must be this tall to ride this fire engine!

I have two friends that are police officers (my college roommates) and another that is a firefighter in St. Paul.  ’little’ has always, since he’s been young, (yes he still is) wanted to be a cop which I totally support and think is great.  We’ve been trying to plan a mini ride along/police department tour and it hasn’t worked out with all of our schedules.  As I was trying to get it together again a few days ago ‘little’ interrupted me and told me he’d rather head to the fire department instead for a tour.  Now this may sound weird but since we’ve been hanging out all the time, and I’ve become so fond of ‘little’, my parental instincts kicks in major and my pride overflows… yes I read in to the situation way to deep.  I immediately think “ALRIGHT!! He’s thinking of his future and how he can start now on reaching his goals!!”  Then he opens up on what’s really going through his mind and outright says “I don’t think they have the poles to slide down at the Police Department… ha ha reality check, he’s 11 years old and I should realize that. I just get so excited and I can’t help it.

Right when we got to the FD the ambulance was just returning from a call. We watched them, lights flashing, back into the garage.  ’little’ was already hooked! My buddy hopped out of the ambulance (he’s 6′4 about 285) and came right over to ‘little’ and greeted him with a firm handshake.  When ‘little’ was asked his name, I’m pretty sure he forgot it for a bit because he couldn’t respond for about 10 seconds. HILARIOUS!!

Fits like a glove!

We went walking in and out of every ambulance and fire engine they had.  We got a fire hose wracking demo, we got to try on very over sized fireman’s jackets, talk to the chief, called into dispatch and had them set off the tones in the station, checked out the living quarters/work out room/kitchen/rec room, and best of all get some majorly great advice!! This was my favorite parts.  Most of the firefighters saw ‘little’ and gave him a wave and a smile, but that was about it.  When we went to talk to one of the veterans on the squad, he immediately warmed up to ‘little’ and starting laying the advice on thick.  ”‘little’ you have to stick around positive people man, you have to strive to be a better person.  Don’t listen to those kunckelheads (verbatum) on the street, cuz they just tryin to drag you down ‘little’.  You don’t need a ton of friends, you just need one… one that thinks like you, is positive and makes you a better person.  I didn’t learn that til I was about 27, you can start now, start early, and be an amazing person.” ‘little’ was awed by the old seer!!

I asked the fireman, with a wink, “how important is it that you do ALL your homework at school? Is that pretty imporant, especially if you want to be a fireman when you grow up”

Without skipping a beat,  ”Knowledge is power ‘little’. People can take away your car, your house, your money… they can’t take away knowledge and that is what homework is all about.  Very important to get that done.  Tell you what, you do all your homework from now until you graduate highschool, then you come and visit me and we’ll have a good talk.”

‘little’ didn’t know what to do with himself, jaw wide open, and a blank stare in his eyes. He was so embarrassed and overwhelmed with all the attention being poured on him. It was a great sight to see.  ha ha  We said goodbye and went to check out the fireman pole.  Turns out you need to be 18 to go down the pole so we got to look down the hole but that was as far as we got.  It was still pretty neat!

The tour was great, ‘little’ was awed, and he is determined, for now, to get all his homework done!

I can’t express how proud I am of him! It was fantastic!

Two Peas in a Pod

You know where this is going.  Well maybe not.  Everytime I hang out with ‘little’ I’m always blown away by how innocent he is.  Of course I’m still not really used to being with a preteenager for an extended period of time and sometimes expect him to act as if he were one of my peers.  When we’re together though, I don’t really have to check myself, it just suprises me that some situations tend to be more tame/kid friendly naturaly.  His deameanor really leads our events to have these certain characteristics.  His jokes are elementary, his manner of speech is light and joking, not cutting or crude, and the path that his mind takes most of the time is optimistic and excited rather than reaisticly scared or pre judged.  It really is a pleasure.  I wonder if all it takes is exposure to such characteristics to pick those up, or if he’s naturally a good natured person?? hmmm…

Well this specific post doesn’t involve the two of us together.  It was actually inspired by a wonderfuly invovled big Erin Annie. She commented on a previous blog post about how when we’re, alone (without our ‘little’s) we are much less concerned about safety.  When we’re with our little’s, in the car for instance, every noise, every creak, every weird movement scares us.  We’ve become protectors and guardians, as we take these young children under our wings.  It puts life into a whole different perspecitve and makes me realize that I really can’t be totaly who I am when I’m around ‘little’. I can be myself as far as character and personality but I have to by way more responsible and understanding that I have his life in my hands.

Even further than that, when I’m not with ‘little’ I need to act a bit more grown up than I usually would.  That means so many different things (one less drink at the bar, only going 5 over the speed limit rather than 10-15, being more punctual, and being more friendly and outgoing around other people… they could potentialy be a connection that could enhance my relationship with ‘little’) I could go on.  I seriously think about him all the time.  It affects me way more than just hanging out with him and building our relationship together.  Turning in homework was a bit of problem this school year and so I’ve really stressed a good work ethic, and being responsible through our relationship. Since I ask that of him, I have to expect it from myself.  This may sound trivial but since our match I now try to go to bed at a more reasonable time so as to be fresh and at the top of my game for work the next day.  I don’t want to slack off while I’m asking someone else to work their hardest.

I have to be the change that I want to become, and ultimately what I want ‘little’ to emulate.  I certainly don’t want him to become who I am, I want him to be the best he can be, but I want to be the same things that I’m asking him to be.  So far, so good.  I’m proud of him, and the small changes that I’ve seen over the last 3-4 months. (respecting my time more, not acting out around me, not cussing, and my favorite, becoming much more patient and considerate of other people)

The funny thing is I don’t think that I would have matched ‘little’ and I together, coming into this whole thing blind, but I don’t think Big Brother Big Sisters could have done a better job.  Thanks a ton guys!  It really has been an eye opening experience.  I’m super excited to continue on.

What is this sludge mister??

I went on a trip to Kansas City with a buddy from work the week before and I was way farther over 3000 miles than I care to admit, especially being the son and brother of mechanics.  They think (and they’re probably right) that I’m so derelict in my care for my car.  I really wanted to hang out with ‘little’ but I felt like if I went one more mile on the sludge (oil) in my car that everything would lock up and I’d be carless, which would be no good.  It’s incredible how I negelect the tools that are so important to me and my life.  I only appreciate them when I don’t have em.  Well,  I thought I’d like to take this situation and turn it into a teaaching moment.  I’d teach little about something I fail daily at, appreciating what we have and taking good care of our assets.
When I picked ‘little’ up I told him to go right back into the house and get his greasy clothes on because we were getting dirty this afternoon.  He looked at me, looked at his clothes, and said, “I don’t know what you mean.  I don’t have any other clothes that are different than these…” alright, onward and upward my friend!!
We went over to my house, and fired up the grill so we could have some hot charcoal ready and waiting when we were done being men and getting dirty.  ‘little’ got right to it.  I gave him the jack to ‘make the car fly’.  I showed him how to make sure he was on the frame and then start pumping.  He didn’t have enough weight to put into it so he had to jump on the handle to get the car to budge.  It took him a while but he certainly didn’t want any help from me.  We got some cardboard slats, slid em under the car and got to work.  I showed him the under parts of the car.  He was hooked.

"Let's Make It Fly"

It was so much fun to impart these skills to him.  It really made me appreciate my old man and what he did for me.  ‘little’ was tough and strong (as strong as a 10 year old can be) but delicate and definitive in what he was doing.  He couldn’t get the nut loosened up at first to drain the oil pan so I got it for him but he was quick to take back the wrench.  When he got oil from the drip on his hands he was so obviously in heaven.  He really was a true grease monkey.  I gave him a shop towel to use and without coxing he draped it from his back pocket like a veteran.  I couldn’t wipe the grin off of myself, to see him so serious.  I showed him the filter and he went to town trying to loosen it.  When replacing the filter I explained that in order to get the best seal it’s good policy to moisten the o-ring by dipping it in the old discarded oil.  He was eating up my direction and trying his hardest to understand what I was saying and why it made sense.  Bolt back in, filter back on, I showed him the dipstick and how to measure the oil level.  He filled her back up to the full line. He looked at me… “is that it?”  You could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t even close to being done. We checked and double checked the air filter, trany fluid, oil level, washer fluid level, tire pressure, wipers, turn signals, break lights, headlights, brights, power windows, power locks… It was amazing.  He was even intrigued by the double latch underneath the hood and we opened and closed the hood about 5 times.

Natural Grease Monkey

It’s fascinating seeing what excites him and what doesn’t.  The week before we had gone to the science museum (which I still need to write about) and it was so hard keeping his attention on one task at the exhibit hall.  He was all over the place and really just wanted to play around and he really wasn’t in learning about science related issues.  Here in this situation he was so set on learning more, doing more, and immersing himself in the internal combustion engine.  It was great to see him so fascinated.  Seeing inspiration in other people is one of my favorite past times.  That may sound weird but was more he was more intrigued than I’d ever seen him before and that includes cruising on the lake the week before in the fishing boat, ha ha.
This outing with ‘little’ was hands down my favorite.  I finally have tapped into something that he wants to know more about.  I’m not sure where this is going to go, but I’m sure we can find more similar activities together.